Chapter 3-Miss Confidence
This is me! I have become Ms. Confidence since I came out of my shell years ago. I used to be shy and just wait to be included in everything. Sadly I was not noticed. So years ago, I began to get out of my comfort zone and became more outgoing and more confident. I had always been pretty smart, had a great smile, etc. However, over the years, I became the Ms. Confidence that would let very few people inside the real me! I wanted to save myself the pain of being hurt by others seeing the real me.
On page 43, Lisa writes: Often, women I become good friends with tell me they admire my confidence and strength. Because of my type A personality, I tend to choose friends who are a bit more laid back and emotional than I am. I relate to this so well...I also saw myself in the crisis times where they would call me but I couldn't bring myself to call them for advice on the really personal things. Believe me, I had picked up the phone, started an email, etc. wanting to ask for help but couldn't.
Finally...a true crisis hit that I could not hide from. My son came home and said his girlfriend was pregnant!! I was devastated...for him, for me, our family, our reputation, he was brought up in a Christian family, went to Christian school and he knew better. I blamed her! This was NOT what I had planned for his life. I cried and went into a bit of a depression. I could not talk about it. I could NOT tell anyone for a couple months. I denied it was real. I was angry at my son, at God, at myself, at MTV, everyone! Thank God for pastors who preach God's word and husbands who insist we go to church every Sunday. It was through a message one Sunday that I felt God take this burden from me and tell me that it was going to be okay and I needed to share this burden, that I would be okay, not to worry about what others thought and to love my son, his girlfriend, my husband and to be dependant on GOD and not myself. It was not easy to call my mom, my dad, my mother-in-law, my sisters, my brother, etc. and tell them the news. God is good. He paved the way for Dallas and Selena and my precious little Bella who I love sooooo much to make it through this. Today Dallas and Selena have been through alot....married, divorced, they became pregnant again--Dylan is 6 months old and such a sweetie! and soon to be married. They attend church together and my prayer is for them to grow in their faith and to LOVE one another. So girls....here I am sharing with all of you my real story...it's getting easier. God is growing me and I'm becoming more Real so that I can truly serve HIM better.
Lisa says: So while my friends may admire me for my strength and counsel, the truth is I admire them....women who are open(like Lelia) and vulnerable and real and genuine and without pretense. Those are the things that truly take strength. Amen to that!
On page 50: We were not made to live in a completely self-reliant state, regardless of how empowering it sounds. After all Jesus acknowledged our human weakness when he said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" John 15:5 True confidence comes down to who our confidence is in, where it lies, and why we have the confidence to begin with. This is the kind of confidence I want to have from now on.
We admit that as capable as we may be, we cannot be truly confident without the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives...leading us and directing us in our everyday circumstances. Our desire is that we begin to be transparent before you and those around us, admitting our vulnerabilities and helping others feel the freedom to, in turn, get real.
In Jesus' name, AMEN.
This was the prayer at the end of the Bible Study guide. This is my prayer today!