Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Behind Those Eyes-Ms. Confidence

This is a part of an online Bible Study-Yes to God.  We are studying the book "Behind Those Eyes" by Lisa Whittle.   If you'd like to join in,  get the book and go over to Lelia at Write From the Heart who hosts the study to link up with everyone.  You will be blessed and changed.

Chapter 3-Miss Confidence

This is me!  I have become Ms. Confidence since I came out of my shell years ago.  I used to be shy and just wait to be included in everything.  Sadly I was not noticed.  So years ago, I began to get out of my comfort zone and became more outgoing and more confident.  I had always been pretty smart, had a great smile, etc.  However, over the years, I became the Ms. Confidence that would let very few people inside the real me!  I wanted to save myself the pain of being hurt by others seeing the real me.  

On page 43, Lisa writes:  Often, women I become good friends with tell me they admire my confidence and strength.  Because of my type A personality, I tend to choose friends who are a bit more laid back and emotional than I am.  I relate to this so well...I also saw myself in the crisis times where they would call me but I couldn't bring myself to call them for advice on the really personal things.  Believe me, I had picked up the phone, started an email, etc. wanting to ask for help but couldn't.  
Finally...a true crisis hit that I could not hide from.   My son came home and said his girlfriend was pregnant!!  I was devastated...for him, for me, our family, our reputation, he was brought up in a Christian family, went to Christian school and he knew better.  I blamed her!  This was NOT what I had planned for his life.  I cried and went into a bit of a depression.  I could not talk about it.  I could NOT tell anyone for a couple months.  I denied it was real.  I was angry at my son, at God, at myself, at MTV, everyone!  Thank God for pastors who preach God's word and husbands who insist we go to church every Sunday.  It was through a message one Sunday that I felt God take this burden from me and tell me that it was going to be okay and  I needed to share this burden, that I would be okay, not to worry about what others thought and to love my son, his girlfriend, my husband and to be dependant on GOD and not myself.   It was not easy to call my mom, my dad, my mother-in-law, my sisters, my brother, etc. and tell them the news.  God is good.  He paved the way for Dallas and Selena and my precious little Bella who I love sooooo much to make it through this.  Today Dallas and Selena have been through alot....married, divorced, they became pregnant again--Dylan is 6 months old and such a sweetie! and soon to be married.  They attend church together and my prayer is for them to grow in their faith and to LOVE one another.  So girls....here I am sharing with all of you my real story...it's getting easier.  God is growing me and I'm becoming more Real so that I can truly serve HIM better.

Lisa says:  So while my friends may admire me for my strength and counsel, the truth is I admire them....women who are open(like Lelia) and vulnerable and real and genuine and without pretense.  Those are the things that truly take strength.  Amen to that!

On page 50:  We were not made to live in a completely self-reliant state, regardless of how empowering it sounds.  After all Jesus acknowledged our human weakness when he said, "I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing"  John 15:5  True confidence comes down to who our confidence is in, where it lies, and why we have the confidence to begin with.  This is the kind of confidence I want to have from now on.  

  Dear Lord, 
We admit that as capable as we may be, we cannot be truly confident without the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives...leading us and directing us in our everyday circumstances.  Our desire is that we begin to be transparent before you and those around us, admitting our vulnerabilities and helping others feel the freedom to, in turn, get real.  
In Jesus' name, AMEN.  

This was the prayer at the end of the Bible Study guide.  This is my prayer today!


nancygrayce said...

Thanks for visiting Connie! I read a little of your blog today. Even though I was raised in a Christian home and knew better, I was pregnant at 17. I married and had another baby 7 years later. It was a very chaotic marriage to say the least and we divorced. I married the wonderful man God brought into my life almost 13 years ago and helped him raise two more boys! I pray your son and daughter in law will keep their eyes on Christ as they put their marriage back together. It's hard, but the consequences of divorce are harder!!! I speak from experience! I'll be back to read more soon.

Where in California do you live? My grandchildren live in San Diego. I love visiting there!

Lisa said...

Thank you for being open and honest and sharing your life and experience with us! This road you've walked has not been easy, but I can hear how God's grace has been sufficient for you through it all. Praise Him for this characteristic and how He's working in your life. I love to hear how He is stirring your heart towards greater truth and authenticity. It's beautiful!

Lisa :)

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Thank you for your precious comment. I did not feel confident in my posting...no pun intended. After I read several other posts, I thought, wow I totally took this in the "wrong" or rather just "other" direction. I don't like being the odd one out but then maybe that's what God wants...for me to take a different road than others and share my 'different' perspective. I felt I just answered the questions but yet that is where the 'meat' of my thoughts come from.

Thanks for sharing your story about confidence and your tragedy turned to treasure through your son and grandbabies.


Liz said...

It seems to me that you are on the right road to being real...and confident in God. I can relate to your post and understand the fear of pain. When I read your real story I feel blessed and encouraged by what an amazing God we have.
Thanks, too, for visiting my blog.

Kim@Seasons of My Heart said...

What a great post, and I especially LOVED your prayer at the end.

Your honest, open heart is so precious sister.

Carol said...

Hi Connie,

Thanks for sharing so honestly about what your family has gone through. God is truly amazing and opening you up. It's scary to be open, but it's so healing.


Beverly Lewis said...

I think one of the reasons I love blogging so much is that we are indeed "real" in what we share. I remember when I started reading Lysa TerKeurst at Proverbs 31, I thought "I'm not going to like her - she is too perfect." I love her- she's real. So thanks for being vulnerable and honest. And Bella, Bella, what a gift!!!
Thank you for tagging me. I just posted about 10 days ago on my quirks so I'll pass on this one but thanks for thinking of me.

Nina Diane said...

Connie - that post could have almost been me 3 years ago. My daughter became pregnant without the benefit of marriage. I was devastated beyond words. She was raised in a Christian home, attended church and "knew better". We hounded her to marry her boyfriend and she could not do that. As it turns out, it was the best thing.....he is no longer in our lives nor Maddox's life. I felt like you when I had to tell my parents and my siblings....I was so embarrased. But guess what...we ARE christians and my family opened their arms and hearts and my mom helped me to see this was all ok. Thank goodness we have our precious Maddox......thoughts and hugs to you. Awesome post!

Tammy R said...

I know how life can go down a road that we didn't plan. Thank you for sharing your heart.

What an awsome study we are doing to together...God is doing great things!

LynnSC said...

Hi Connie,
Thank you for sharing your heart. You were very honest and open with your story. God can and will use that.

I am so glad to be on this journey with you ladies.

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

I am seeing confidence in a whole new way. It is not so discouraging for me not to be as confident as I once thought I should be. I know my focus has switched!
Thanks for sharing your story.

In his Graces~Pamela


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